A Funny Marketing Email

A few weeks ago I received an email from someone, offering me their marketing services.

And it was hilarious because the person who sent it obviously knew nothing about marketing and it was one of the worst pieces of marketing I've ever seen.

I actually read it through several times and each time it seemed even funnier as I noticed more things that were wrong with it.

Below is the email --

"Hi Ruth Barringham,

This is Jerry I hope you are doing well.

I am checking in to see if you are looking for Digital Marketing, Web Development, Content Marketing and Application Development business partners for your company branding and new business development.

We also expertise in:

Digital Marketing, Content Marketing, Application Development, Website Redesigning, Web Development, CRM, Ecommerce, Portal Development, B2B and B2C Email Data Leads, SEO (Search Engine Optimization), ORM (Online Reputation Management), SMO (Social Media Optimization), LinkedIn Marketing, Email Marketing, Lead Generation, Branding, Graphic Design, Logo Design, Image Editing, YouTube Marketing etc.

Our clients include top brands who swear by our services.

Please let me know if you need more information and we can discuss further steps.

Regards,
Jerry
Web Marketing Executive [INDIA]"

-------------------------

My usual response is to move emails like this to my junk folder and block the sender.

But this time I just couldn't resist giving some constructive criticism.

So below is the response that I sent --

"Ha ha.

This is hilarious.

A marketing person who can't even market themselves.

What do I mean by that?

No mention of your company name. No website to direct me to.

Your opening sentence should have been two sentences (very poor start), as in "This is Jerry. I hope you are doing well." See. Two sentences. And that also tells me absolutely nothing about who you are or what you are offering me, not even a surname, which immediately makes people very suspicious right from the start.

You say "We also expertise in..." without first explaining what else you think you're an expert in.

You claim you have big name clients, but don't name them.

You claim they "swear by our services" but offer no testimonials.

And at the end of the email, there is no "call to action."

Nothing.

Just a tepid "let me know" and that's it.

Clearly I know more about marketing than you do.

This is possibly one of the WORST marketing emails I've ever received.

And I get a lot.

I think I'll use this email as a teaching aid of how NOT to construct a marketing email.


P.S. Also your ending of telling me what to do if I want to stop receiving emails from you, tells me immediately that this email is spam because I never signed up to receive emails from you so why do I need to unsubscribe? Always a dead giveaway of a mass commercial mailing, which is really insulting to the person receiving it."

-------------------------------

Naturally, I didn't hear from them again. Afterall, what could they say? That I was wrong and their marketing email was first class?

But you may be wondering why I'm telling you this.

It's because there's an old saying, that in order to be successful, you have to act as though it's already happened.

In other words, "Fake It Till You Make It."

But that doesn't mean to send out substandard work like this hopeless and hapless marketing "expert" did.

It means to feel the feeling of your goals already being achieved.

To act as though you've already made it and those thoughts and emotions will help you to see opportunities that you might otherwise have missed if you weren't thinking about your success.

And now is a great time to start working on your goals of being an online writer and self publisher.

So that you can begin Living The Laptop Lifestyle.

http://cheritonhousepublishing.com/books/LLS.html

A Xmas Day Email? Why?

Today is Christmas Day so you're probably wondering why I'm sending an email?

Because no one else is. But I do know that many people check their inboxes on Christmas Day.

Christmas is an exciting time of year for most people - but only at the beginning of the day.

The rest of it is usually an anti-climax after all the months, weeks and days, of planning, shopping and preparing.

And some people are like me, and they don't bother with it.

Where I live on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia, it's hot right now. It's summer.

So I often take off and go to the beach for most of the day. Or go to a shady park with my dog. Or stay in and avoid seeing anyone at all. To me, it's a welcome day off.

But no matter what, I know that people will be checking their emails at some point in the day, so emailing on Christmas Day means I'm one of the few if any, emails in people's inboxes so mine have more chance of being read.

It's also a time of year when many start thinking about their New Year resolutions.

So instead of thinking about what you're going to stop doing in 2018 (smoking, drinking, over-eating), think about what you want to start doing.

Is there something you've always wanted to do but didn't know where to start or what to do?

Well, now you can begin by downloading a free 30-day planner to get you started.

Take the first step in your commitment to having a better year.

Download your free planner right now as a gift to yourself.

http://ruthiswriting.com/links/LOAplanner.html

Want to make more money from your blog or website next year?

Sign up to VigLink and let them automate your affiliate linking so that you can write more.

https://www.viglink.com/?vgref=3699263

Always Be Prepared To Write

I always like to carry a notebook and pen with me wherever I go just in case I get time to write, or in case a brilliant idea appears in my head out of nowhere and I need to write it down.

My tech-savvy daughter tells me that I'm "so old-fashioned" because she uses her iPhone to record anything she suddenly needs to write down.

But I still prefer my good-old paper and pen. Besides, I much prefer to write by hand because it makes me feel far more creative than tapping away at a keyboard.

One day, I had a brilliant idea for a book just pop into my head out of nowhere.

I was in town at the time, picking up a few bits and pieces.

When the idea struck me, I ran to a newsagent shop and bought an A4 notebook and pen.

I went to the park and sat for over an hour outlining my book idea in detail. I just sat there writing dozens of pages.

Then I went home, dropped everything, and started writing my book.

Within a week I'd not only finished the book, but I published it as an ebook AND made sales.

That's the thing about ideas that arrive seemingly out of nowhere.

They're a gift and shouldn't be wasted because once the idea is gone, it's gone for good.

Once the initial enthusiasm and motivation are gone, so is the brilliant idea.

So if it hits you, go with it.

Take your gift and use it straight away.

This is how my 7 Day Ebook Writing And Publishing System was born.

http://cheritonhousepublishing.com/books/7day.html

$700/Month Writing Blog Posts

I was reading an article recently about a freelance writer who earns over $700/month writing blog posts for a client.

She writes 5 blog posts a week and charges $35 for each one.

You can read the article at https://inkwelleditorial.com/become-a-six-figure-freelance-writer

Anyway, the point of this is why would her client pay so much for short blog posts?

And the answer is because they know that they can earn much more than this from them.

All blog posts, emails and online articles have 2 "jobs."

They provide a tip or another piece of useful information, and they make a sale or get the reader to perform another kind of CTA, Call To Action.

There are many smart writers who know how to earn money from everything they write and publish online. While many others earn nothing.

So if you're not earning an average of $35 from each piece of your online content, then ask why not?

Then look into how to do it.

There's no point writing lots of online articles and blog posts if you're not earning from them.

Unless of course, you enjoying writing just for the sake of it. In which case, ignore what I'm telling you.

But if you want to earn more money from your online content, this is something I talk about in-depth in my best selling ebook, Living The Laptop Lifestyle: How To Start & Grow A Profitable Online Business So You Can Quit Your Job.

And it's not too late to download your own copy and make 2018 your best writing year ever.

http://cheritonhousepublishing.com/books/LLS.html