Friday, 26 May 2017

Why I Got Rid of My Facebook "Friends"

“Social Media” by jscreationzs
I've been a bit slack lately at blogging and emailing but the reason for this is because I was spending time looking at my daily routine, particularly with a view to eliminating things that are a waste of time.

And what I realised was that it's all to easy to waste a lot of time on Facebook.

I also realised the reason that Facebook is a waste of time is because I really don't care what other people are doing or saying. The only reason I joined a few years ago is because I thought I SHOULD. People told me it could help me sell more books and earn more money, but so far it hasn't

Among my so-called Facebook "friends" were family members, friends, neighbours and other people who I've never actually met, but they requested to "friend" me so I did.

And what it all added up to was wasting time every day looking at what they were doing and saying and most of it was garbage that I didn't want/need to know.

Also, whenever I posted my opinion about something or said what I was doing, I got so many hateful comments about whether or not people agreed with my view. I posted  a lot about animals (because I can't stand animal cruelty) and the backlash was not only instant, but it was from people who clearly had no idea what they were talking about but certainly had a lot of negative opinions.

I even thought I was safe joining a couple of vegan groups, but it seemed they were worse than anyone else in their efforts to "out vegan" each other. Someone would post about what they ate and others would immediately tell them they were wrong. "You eat chocolate? I never eat that I prefer only organic health food." "You wear leather shoes???? Vegans NEVER do that." "You put dressing on your salad???? How unhealthy!" Blah, blah, blah...on and on it went.

Even a local group were really scornful of each other: "My child had money stolen from them at school." "Well you shouldn't allow them to carry a lot of cash." "It's not the child's fault, blame the thieves." "It's hard to blame the thieves when your kid made it so easy for them." Honestly! I couldn't believe the negativity coming from everywhere.

Then I had an epiphany a few days ago. It suddenly hit me that I don't really care about what others are saying. I don't care one bit what they think so why was I wasting my time checking my Facebook feed every day?

So I un-friended everyone (which it turns out you have to do one person at a time - what a drag), even my family members, and then I set my account to not allow anyone else to "friend" me. I did that by setting it so that only friends of friends can request to "friend" me. It seems you can't just set it to let no one "friend" you.

I also unjoined most of the groups I was a part of except a Buddhist group and a couple of writing groups, and I joined more writing groups that offered daily prompts, writing news, etc. In other words, I'm only interested in groups that can help me by offering something I need, not just a load of people voicing their opinions.

There were some writing groups that offered to critique each other's work, and I thought "Nope. No way." I just need information not more opinions from people who know nothing or very little.

And once I sorted out my account I could check it every day and only see useful things. Plus it has freed up a lot of my time every week.

The most amazing thing is that not only has it given me more time, but I feel so much happier. I didn't realise it before, but everyday, logging into Facebook made me cringe. I didn't want to see what others were complaining about.

Facebook is full of trolls. Completely full. But I've found a way to avoid them and at the same time, use Facebook to help my writing career. I've also started posting lots of things about writing, so others can follow me if they want to learn more, but they can't be my Facebook "friend."

I know that they call it social media, but there is really not much "social" about it.

It's probably why I'm a writer. It means I work alone.

And currently I'm working on some more writing courses to help others make more money from their writing than ever before.

So stay tuned.

:) :) :)

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