There's No Such Thing As a Friend, Especially When You're a Writer

These days the media is full of advice about we all need friends and how important it is for us all to have a support group we can turn to.

But do we? And is there really such a thing as a friend?

I have plenty of acquaintances and people that I often talk to, but I wouldn't say I actually have any friends. In fact, I don't think anyone really knows what a friend is.

People tell me that if someone is your friend, then you are obligated in the following ways:

- if they ask you to do them a favour, you have to do it or they'll consider you not their friend

- you have to 'be there' for them when they have a problem and you either have to listen to them talk about it or do something to help them.

- if they have a favourite charity or their kids are doing a school fundraiser, you have to donate or get involved if they ask you to

- if they have strong political views, you have to agree with them or keep quiet

And the thing is, if you let them down on just one of these things, they won't want to know you anymore.

This is why I always say that there is no such thing as a friend. They're an obligation. That may sound harsh, but it's true. It's not that I have anything against people, I just don't consider anyone as my friend and I try not to get heavily involved with anyone's life, but I don't mind talking to people I like.

I found this especially true when I quit my job and became a writer. Many people I considered friends said I was a fool to give up a good job and that I'd never earn money writing. A few even ridiculed me for my decision, and some even said that they'd always thought about being a writer, but well... they just didn't have the time to try and write. It just seemed like so much jealousy. 

But if I'm honest, it was probably me that turned away from them at that point because I was busy on my writing mission and didn't have time for their negativity and snide remarks.

It was around that time that I realised how fickle friendships are. At first it made me a bit sad. But then I figured that having friends makes you needy because you feel like you don't just WANT them as friends, but you NEED them.

Since then, I've just kept light relationships with others and immersed myself in my writing.

What if you had a mission to turn to instead of needing others? You could close the door on the world and spend time on your mission. And your mission can be whatever you want it to be - creative, business, charity, religion, education, invention, or so many other things.

I found that having a mission has given me more confidence, self-esteem and enabled me to live my life on my own terms, doing what I want to do.

Start living your life on your own terms by pursuing your own True Life Mission.

https://ruthiswriting.com/books/MCFL.html